Tuesday, June 25, 2013

all I've ever wanted ...

When I was 20, I met the person I wanted to be with for the rest of my life. And despite being so young, it didn't take me long to come to this realization. In fact, I knew pretty much instantaneously and I have never once, second guessed myself.


When I was 21, he asked me to marry him after just 10 months of dating. Truth be told, I would have married him the second we stepped foot back on American soil (we started dating while on a trip to England). I'm sure that our parents thought we were crazy. I was a junior in college and he had only graduated a year prior. We had no "life experience". We didn't have a closet full of skeletons. We didn't have pasts full of heartbreaks. He was my first long-term relationship, and I was his. It was kind of perfect.


And it still is.

Then when I was 22, exactly nine years ago today, we were joined by 80 of our closest friends and family members in Nassau, Bahamas for our wedding. It was everything I hoped it would be, even the moments that didn't go exactly as I had hoped.


At that time, I had dreams for what our life would be like. And although there have been hiccups along the way, my reality is pretty much how I pictured it back then. We have a happy, healthy and beautiful family. Our daughters are amazing beyond words (yes, I realize I'm biased). And I love J more each and every day I spend with him.
 

Over the past nine years, I have realized how everything that's said about marriage is true.

It does take work.

And compromise.

And patience.

You need to understand that sometimes, it's OK to "lose" an argument, even if you're right.

You need to realize that you should never sacrifice yourself for your partner, but that nothing you do should weaken the other person.

And no matter how hard you try, you can't change someone unless they want to be changed. Sometimes, you just have to accept that he's never going to fold the laundry the way you want or "let go" of things that you don't see the value in.

Ultimately, marriage (and family) is all about teamwork. Our strength lies in numbers and our successes and failures are intertwined. It everything I've ever wanted and all I could ever need.

13 comments:

Non Sequitur Chica said...

Happy anniversary!

carrie said...

Well said and Happy Anniversary!!!!!

Hayley said...

Love it. When you know, you know. My husband and I dated for all of 3 weeks before getting engaged and then married 3 months later. And I have never had a doubt either (3 college degrees and 3 kids later). Congrats to you guys!

S Club Mama said...

Amen!! Congratulations!

Rachel said...

Aww.. Happy Anniversary!!! So sweet! Y'all look so happy in that picture!

laura pignataro said...

Happy anniversary!!

Amber said...

When you know he's the one, you just know. I too had a short period of dating and then engagement. And I too fall in love with that man more and more each day. :) Happy Anniversary to you!!

christa said...

I knew my husband was the one when I met him. Except I was 29, so I had the closet of heartbreak and skeletons and I just knew he was the one.

Kate @ Life on the Pavement... said...

Happy Anniversary!!!

bmorerecovered.com said...

I love this...our path was a bit different...having started "dating" (if you can call it that so young) at 14 and I never ever wanted anyone else. We were each others first and only everything and I'm perfectly happy with that...you guys are such good examples to so many!

Jill Poon said...

Love this!!! You guys are awesome!

DavidJudy Read said...

Awwww Tonia, this blog post had me in tears. You and J are SOOO wise beyond your years....it shows in your dedication to each other and the strength you have as a couple. You are truly a couple to look up to. Hope you enjoy your anniversary dinner. :)

dreambigrunner.com said...

Congratulations!!! I'm a newlywed and love to hear about successful,marriages. You both are meant for each other!