Yesterday, I braved the open road. Just me and my SUV and 300 miles. Oh, and the girls were there too. I knew that the trip would be a challenge, simply because I was outnumbered 3 to 1. But, I never considered all that I would learn. Our six hour trip opened my eyes to so many things.
I am now aware that ... it only takes my children 23 minutes to ask, "Are we there yet?" And they will continually ask that same question (with slight variations) every two and a half minutes. After 30 minutes, I totally remembered why I so rarely take my daughters on long road trips.
I am now aware that ... it is pointless to try to answer any questions about how long a certain amount of time is. There is no right answer. Whether my children want to know how long five minutes is or five hours, the answer will only evoke crying.
I am now aware that ... it takes less than an hour for my children to request a bathroom break. I know that children have small bladders, but really, AN HOUR?
I am now aware that ... Doodle thinks that needing to go to the bathroom will save her from EVERYTHING. Seriously. She saw a bug which caused her to scream and scream that she was going to pee her pants immediately. Then the bug disappeared. And suddenly she no longer needed to go. Interesting. Then when I called her on it, she looked at me like I had two heads.
I am now aware that ... going to a public restroom with three children aged five and under is absolutely NO FUN. Dilly has a tendency to stick her hands in the toilet. Knowing this, I was forced to wear her in a carrier on my back. While I peed. Challenging to say the least. Add that to the fact that Dizzle and Doodle were constantly fighting about who got to pee first and I'm sure you can imagine how enjoyable our three bathroom breaks were.
I am now aware that ... I have the only children who will not sleep (even for 10 minutes) during a six hour car ride. Not even Dilly. What's up with that?
I am now aware that ... you can get an ungodly amount of food at Taco Bell for $10. We ordered four cheese roll ups, two fresco bean burritos, three milks, and a diet coke. And had I let the girls order the lemonade instead of milk, we would have saved $3.
I am now aware that ... I am a port-o-john magnet. At one point, I was boxed in by three trucks carrying port-o-johns. The weird thing was that they all entered the highway at different locations.
I am now aware that ... Garmin traffic reports are 100% inaccurate. I had a traffic warning on my screen for the entire duration of my trip. The road was even highlighted to indicate a current delay, yet I didn't hit traffic at all during the "delay areas." But, a car explodes and shuts down all lanes bringing traffic to a standstill and I get zero warning. Why does that happen?
Needless to say, our road trip was an adventure. I can only imagine what kind of revelations I'll have on the ride back ...